"Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care."

-Terry Pratchett

Quotes

For those of you who don't want to spend hours refreshing the page for a fresh dose of Pratchett wisdom, here are the quotes all in one accessible place:

"I'd rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel."

"We are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was."

"Life doesn't happen in chapters— at least, not regular ones."

"A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

"Imagination, not intelligence, made us human."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."

"Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page."

"Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care."

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me."

"Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them."

"Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent."

"If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."


What he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.

That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.


Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant "idiot.

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.

"Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods."

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

...on the disc, the Gods are not so much worshipped as blamed.

"You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I’m so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I’m suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I’ve got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you."

"Well, my point is, you see, that gold also has its sort of magical field. Sort of financial wizardry. Echo-gnomics."

menu

Terry Pratchett Quotes Icons
Fanlistings?! Codes Join Update Members
Affiliates Site Index
DuckSmudge.org TheFanlistings.Org